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			CAROL OWENS and Squash Australia again GLOBAL GALLERY MAY 2001 Martin Bronstein's astigmatic view of the world of squash. © 2001 All rights reserved. photos © 2001, D Tessier, R Beck and V Winchell
			THE SCOOP THAT WENT AROUND THE WORLD - AND CHANGED THINGS… The effect of Sqashtalk's exclusive story on Carol Owens refusing to play for Australia had repercussions. The story was copied and/or plagiarised and/or stolen by all other squash media and since then it has even changed Squash Australia. Part of Owens' beef was that she never heard from the governing body except when it was time to play in the world teams championship. Now, it seems, any time any Australian wins anything, they are bombarded with faxes of congratulations. One young Aussie was heard to say that now they drive him crazy. ….BUT SOME PEOPLE NEVER LEARN Anyway, after all that controversy and a frank exchange of views, Carol Owens was surprised to get a communication from Squash Australia saying that they intend to put out a Carol Owens poster, extolling the achievements of this fine squash player. After describing how they were going to do it they then said they actually did not have the money to finance the project and could she get one of her sponsors to foot the bill? While the smoke was still pouring out of Carol's ears, she read the last line of the missive. It asked her if she would confirm her availability to represent Australia in next year's Commonwealth Games. I am very glad I wasn't in the room when she read that last line. MUMBAI JUMBO I have now heard it from two different sources: the Men's World Open, due later this year in Mumbai (formerly known as Bombay) will not take place. No sponsors have been found and the India SRA do no get on well with the promoters. (And that is putting it mildly). Furthermore, Pakistan is threatening to boycott because of fundamentalist threats. The PSA may now be regretting that they took it away from the Melbourne Squash Festival in October. Will the World Open now be going, hat in hand, back to the Melbourne people and ask for forgiveness ? Or even to The Eye Group to help them out? We await with interest the next official announcement. THE BARADA MYSTERY, Chapter two. (see April Gallery for Chapter One) I spoke to Sawy, who is not only the main man behind the Al Ahram tournaments, but also Ahmed Barada's Egyptian manager. Even he couldn't tell me exactly what is happening or what is likely to happen. He did say that he didn't know where Barada was and that the last time they spoke he was trying to persuade Barada to attend the PSA Masters in Hurghada just to show a presence at a major event, but Barada did not turn up. Sawy also said that Barada was so upset about his continuing back problem that he felt he would never get better and would never play again - a genuine bout of depression. Sawy confirmed that Barada had stopped playing and practising. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE? OH NO IT AIN'T We have all suffered the accursed burbling of cell phones at major sports events (and let me tell you that those posh people at the centre court at Wimbledon are no exception). The problem seems to be worse in Egypt and on the semi-finals day after the players had stopped for the third time because of the ringing of a cell phone breaking the silence, the referee once more requested that all cell phones be switched off. As he finished his announcement - beautiful timing this - another phone rang. The tune? The theme from Mission Impossible. Best comic timing of the year. A fitting tune considering the request. But on Thursday, the presence of Suzanne Mubarak, wife of the President of Egypt, demonstrated that this mission was not impossible. Because, although in the Wild West, guns had to be checked at the door, in the Wild Middle East, cell-phones and cameras had to be checked at the door. Photographer Steven Line convinced the swarm of security men that he needed his cameras to carry out his work. But for the first time -and perhaps the last - since the invasion of cellphones, we were able to sit through a match without hearing one single phone. DON'T GIVE UP YOUR DAY JOB, BENG HEE On finals day, Sawy organised a large boat to take a bunch of players, officials and journos to an island in the Red Sea. A 45 minute trip and we still could not see Saudi Arabia on the other side. ( It is a big drop of water: about 1300 miles from the Suez to the Gulf of Aden and 200 miles at its widest.) A soccer match on the sand was soon in progress and I can report that Ong Beng Hee is truly a one-sport man. They put him in goal and just as the opposition were attacking, he turned to watch two very lovely women walking by the sea's edge. This put his back towards the pitch and suddenly Beng Hee's side were one down. After lunch they played volleyball. Wasn't much good at that either. He should worry, he got to the semi-finals of the tournament and will soon be in the top ten. The rest of us went snorkelling in five feet of water 10 yards from the shore and saw some incredible fish among the coral. Strangely, the small fish came quite close, but the larger fish kept their distance. THE PAROCHIAL PRESS Somebody on the USSRA Chat Line accused me of being European parochial, saying I concentrated too much on European players. Out of 32 players in the PSA draw, 10 were English, two Scottish, two Welsh, two Finnish, one French, one Irish and one Belgian, making a total of 19 out of 32, that's about 60 per cent. So percentage wise, there was good reason to give more courage to the Europeans than the others. However, if you check the coverage of Hurghada, you will find that there is no weighting in favor of European players. I try to cover the players who make the news. In the early rounds, there may be six matches going on at once. Which one do you watch? Sometimes, when matches are on adjacent courts, you can watch two at once. Sometimes, when deadlines demand, you are actually writing a story when a major match is going on, so you cannot write about it in any detail, other than those facts gleaned from one eye on court and from other writers or observers. And if there are women's and men's matches going on at the same time, I like to give equal coverage. So those are some of the problems of the squash writer. But this anonymous Chat-Line writer (come out from behind your cover and write like a man, damn you!) was mostly upset that I never wrote about Jonathon Power's early matches. In fact reading his (or her?) complaint, I came to the conclusion that he wanted me to change from being European parochial to Toronto parochial. I will go even further: what he really wants is a Power Fanzine. Sorry mate, not here. ….AND FINALLY… Barry Faguy, the Canadian referee who keeps me on the straight and narrow path on rules and rude remarks about referees (who make decisions that I don't like), puts out a lively magazine called The Squash Official for Squash Canada. In the April 2001 issue he reports that during the Quebec Open, Shahier Razik crashes into the lanky Shawn DeLierre and still stunned, turns to DeLierre's mom sitting behind the back wall and asks: "What have you been feeding him?" Without missing a beat Delierre orders: "Don't tell him!"

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