SHABANA TO TOP THE PYRAMIDS

Amr Shabana, Egyptian and World #1. Photo © 2006, Debra Tessier.

The latest PSA rankings keep Egyptian Amr Shabana at number one, a position he likely to occupy for at least six months as there is no major tournament until the English Open in August to be followed by the grand return of the Pyramids tournament.

I would like to think that the Egyptians have brought back the Giza  event as a tribute to Shabana. The first  Al Ahram tournament in front of the Pyramids was in 1996 and was surely to celebrate Ahmed Barada, the Egyptian number one at the time.  But as good as he was, Barada never reached world number one nor did he win a world open.  Shabana has done both – winning the world open twice. So he will enter the Al Ahram as  the top seed.  The last time I was at Giza, there were 5,000 seats surrounding the court and the huge crowd went wild every time Barada won a point.  I think they will have to increase the seating. I would like to be there to see the Egyptians pay tribute to Shabana – it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

OMNEYA MAKES IT IN HURGHADA
Egypt are not doing badly on the women’s side either. Omney Abdel Kawy, the former world junior champion, has finally won the Hurghada tournament  beating Rachael Grinham  9-6, 9-2, 7-9, 0-9, 9-2 over 75 minutes. There was a time when it seemed that Omneya did not have the heart for the big fight and she would simply stop trying. And some very important Egyptian  (men) players gave her no chance of success because  of a bad case of pigeon toes. But this win shows that she can compete with the best regardless of which ways her toes are pointing. It finally proves that she can go five games and play  for 75 minutes….an unusual length in WISPA squash. Does this mean that she will now start challenging for the top? She has been as high as seven in the rankings and is currently ranked ten in the world, but on this sort of form should be  in the top five.The next big tournament is in Hyderabad, India  at the beginning of July and, courtesy of Qatar Airlines, I shall be there to watch the Qatar Airways Challenge, one of the biggest stops on the WISPA tour.  As well as keeping an eye on  Vanessa Atkinson,  Nicol David and the Grinhams, I shall be watching Tania Bailey with interest. She has finally recovered her health and is back to number nine in the world and knocking off players above her.  Three years ago she was ranked four and knocking at the door for top spot until a mysterious virus came along and simply would not go away. Now it seems to have gone and she is climbing back up.

FIGS?  GO FIGURE
Back in 2002  FIGS, the Italian governing body, made a complete hash of the men’s junior world championship, holding it in Milan in club without a decent show court, the walls dark grey with  use, and lousy food. The hotel breakfast comprised of croissant and coffee – this was for strapping, growing lads in their late teens. I remember Andrew Shelley,  the technical director – who never loses his temper  - throwing his credit card on the table and telling the hotel that he would pay for a hot breakfast. 

The reason why the hotel would not provide cooked food is because FIGS had screwed them down on the price.  Furthermore FIGS charged the teams far more for the rooms than they were paying.They never did come up with a venue with a glass court and Shelley’s report to the World Squash Federation was as damning a document as ever I have ever read. It ensured that FIGS would never be awarded a world championship until the officers were changed. The same people are in power, which is why Davide Bianchetti, easily the best player ever to come out of Italy,  never plays for the national team. His father, promoter Amedeo has set up an alternate circuit with the top pros and so Italy comes nowhere in world and European team championships.

But wait!

I hear from the European Squash Federation (ESF) that Italy has been awarded next year’s European Team championships.  I would guess they got it because they were the only country to bid.   However, and this is a huge however, the decision by the ESF is subject to a “venue inspection” just to make sure everything that FIGS promises is there, unlike 2002 in Milan.

I now take you, through the means of my crystal ball, to somewhere in Italy, where the ESF  Technical Director (TD) is being shown around by the FIGS President.

(SCENE: Somewhere east of Brescia, Milan and Bosnia. FIGS and TD get out of car).
FIGS:     So, here we are.
TD:        Fine. Where is the hotel? All I can see is a field.
FIGS :     Don’t worry. The Hotel La Tenda will be ready in plenty of time.
TD:        You mean they are going to build a hotel here in just four months.
FIGS:     Oh sure. No problem.
(The TD consults his  phrase book )
TD:        According to my book tenda is Italian for tent.
FIGS:     Hey, you bilingual eh?
TD:        Tents? Tents?? TENTS???
FIGS:     Oh yes, very nice tents, beautiful tents designed by  Dolce and Gabana.
TD:        You said you would have a five star hotel.
FIGS:     Five star tents is better…kinder to the environment.
TD:        And who is paying for these tents to be made by a fashion house.
FIGS:     We are, FIGS, once we get the money from the competing teams.
TD:        How much?
FIGS:     Standard tent, 2,000 Euros, Superior tents, 3,000 Euros and luxury tent
             5,000 Euros.
TD:        A week?
FIGS:     Per night.
TD:  (WEAKLY)  And what does a luxury tent have?
FIGS:     Beds.
(The TD gets back in the car and they drive off)
ON HOUR LATER:  SOMEWHERE  SOUTH OF FLORENCE, WEST OF MOSCOW AND EAST OF THE SUN
TD:        What is that?
FIGS:     That is the Arena Bellisimo
TD:        It’s a bloody barn.
FIGS:     Yes, but a very good barn of great historic interest, where Caesar made love to
             Cleopatra on the way to Alexandria.
TD:        I don’t care if he screwed the entire population of Italy, including some
             Women, it is still a barn.  Is that where you intend to put up the glass court?
FIGS:     Yes, er, no. Not a glass court.
TD:        Perspex?
FIGS:     Not exactly.
TD:        OK, not glass and not Perspex. What?
FIGS:     Cellophane.
TD:  (INREDULOUSLY) Cellophane?
FIGS:     Yes, very strong stuff, they use it to wrap foods, no? You can’t cut it or tear it to
             get to the food right? Terrific stuff.
TD:  (NOT WANTING TO BELIEVE HIS EARS) A Cellophane squash court….
FIGS:     Beautiful court,  designed by Leonardo da Vinci. What vision that man had…
TD:        You don’t appreciate how hard these players hit the ball, they will go right
             through the walls.
FIGS:     We have thought of that and have come up with the perfect solution.

TD:        And what is that?
FIGS:     Table tennis balls.
TD:        You cannot use ping pong balls in squash!
FIGS:     Ah you English, you are so hidebound by tradition. What you –

HIS SENTENCE IS CUT SHORT AND ENDS WITH A STRANGLED GASP. 
THE TECHNICAL DIRECTOR IS NOW BEING SOUGHT BY INTERPOL FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER.