Jobs well done:
... gracious Danes, table-thumping tribute to Shelley, and super baby

GLOBAL GALLERY November 2002
Martin Bronstein's astigmatic view of the world of squash

© 2002 All rights reserved.
photos © 2002, Suashtalk, D. Tessier, Danish Squash, WISPA

ANOTHER COMEBACK?

I heard a very distinct whisper just a few days ago. Very distinct. So distinct that instead of just brushing it away as nonsense, I smiled, because if it is true, squash will get back one of its most charismatic players. No, nothing to do with Jansher or Jahangir. The whisper said the Ahmed Barada, that wonderful Egyptian player who could have gone right to the very top before a stabbing and public pressure got to him, is back on court training and will be back on the circuit next year. Remember, he’s still in his mid-twenties, which is a long way to go before his sell-by date, which is Jansher’s problem.

Don’t ask any Egyptian official, coach or insider, because it will be denied or at least, ignorance of the facts will be claimed. If it is true and Barada is back in time for the next Men’s world team champs, the Egyptians will have Barada, Darwish and Shabana – and that is a pretty good team.

THE ROCKIEST TRAIL OF ALL, THE COMEBACK TRAIL

Barada could make the comeback, but the others who tried it, all over 30, all had short memories. They just plain forgot how fit and sharp they were when they were champions. Hunt tried a comeback in his mid-thirties after a back operation made him feel good again and really only managed to stagger to second base before giving up. Jansher is suddenly remembering what it feels like to be several lungfulls short of fitness. And also the ankles, knees, lower backs and arm suddenly stop working.

Susan Devoy was rumored to be doing some exhibition matches with Michelle Martin this fall in the US. She got together with Carol Owens in Auckland, New Zealand to have a hit and get back into shape.

“No routines, no boasts and drives. I hate boasts and drives. Let’s just have a hit,” she said to Owens, a player who now stands on top of the world rankings.

To cut a very short story even shorter, once the ‘hit’ was over, Ms. Devoy decided against the exhibition ‘comeback’. The last rumour I had was Michelle Martin is planning a comeback. Don’t do it, Michelle, please, don’t do it.

COACHING NEWS

Just in case you haven’t been keeping up with the appointments: Liz Irving is now Dutch National Coach, Michelle Martin has been appointed coach of the Australian junior girls, and Natalie Pohrer, who is now playing under the American flag (as we all knew she would), has been appointed coach to the US junior girls.

MEET MARWHEN, WORLD SQUASH CHAMPION, 2022.

In Denmark I met the person who will almost certainly be world champion twenty years from now. His name is Marwhen El Borolossy, and boy does he have the right genes. Father is Omar El Borolossy and mother is Salma Shabana, sister of Egyptian whizz Amr Shabana. Marwhen was six months old when I came across him, sitting comfortably in a squash bag, his mother close by keeping an eye on him. Salma was playing for the Egyptian team in the world championships and despite having been back on court for only two months, was playing better than ever. She kept her maternal priorities in the right order – baby came first. When they presented the teams on court before the semi-finals, there was Marwhen on his mother’s hip, very much part of the team, almost officially in the team. Why not? The entire team, coaches and players from other countries had all been willing baby-sitters, minders, bottle feeders – everything except wet nursing. Salma was often seen suckling Marwhen at the side of the court while play and practise went on. Without going into details, I wonder what kind of Pavlovian response he will have in later life, every time he hears a squash ball striking the front wall?

He was a wonderfully inquisitive baby, his eyes never resting, taking it all in. Now what are the chances of this person not playing squash in future?

NO LOGO IS NO NO FOR DUNLOP

Dunlop UK are so angry with Squash Player Magazine editor Ian McKenzie that they are threatening to slap him with their handbag. Sent him a letter. On real paper!

It all started when McKenzie got tired of Dunlop expecting free publicity on the one hand while not spending money on advertising on the other. So when the magazine was going to use a large photo of Tania Bailey complete with big Dunlop logo on her headband, he used electronic wizardry to erase it. Dirty pool, cried Dunlop and went crying to three governing bodies who Dunlop give money to for various endorsements and rights. (For example, the WSF get a few thousand quid to formerly bless the very expensive Dunlop squash ball). Poor old Ian got calls from various people telling him not to be an ungrateful cad. Ian pointed out that he gets no advertising revenue from the big D so why should he give them free plugs?

And then a few weeks ago a letter drops through my letter box. It is on genuine Dunlop stationary, so not a photo-copy, and it is a copy of a letter to Ian. The second paragraph starts: “We note that your company has gone to great lengths to tamper with the picture of Ms Bailey as to deface our valuable trade mark from Tania’s clothing….” And finishes: “…we believe that damage is being caused to the company which is actionable under common law.”

They finish by asking him to cease from his naughty erasures or they will ‘seek the strongest possible action in a court of law.’ As they had sent copies of this letter accusing McKenzie of wrongdoing to Steve Line, Ted Wallbutton (WSF), Andrew Shelley (WISPA), Gawain Briars (PSA), Nick Rider (England Squash) and Howard Harding, I think that McKenzie might have a good counter claim for libel.

Mind you, the letter was from the Dunlop Company Secretary. Well I mean, going to an actual lawyer costs money, doesn’t it?

THE AUSSIES ARE BACK

After a definite hiatus when they couldn’t win anything, the Aussies are back. They won the Men’s world team champs last year, the Women’s team champs this year and the men are taking over the PSA top ten. In the Qatar semis Peter Nicol was left to face three Australians. (I still regard John White as Australian). And how long will it be before David Palmer, Stu Boswell and Anthony Ricketts occupy the top three spots.

The only weak link in the Australian challenge to world domination is in the junior women. I hope to be in Cairo next summer when the Women’s Junior champs take place. The Egyptians are favoured to sweep the boards with Omneya Abdel Kawy taking the singles title. It will be interesting to see if the Aussies have improved in that area.

THE DINNER IS FREE IS IF YOU CHANGE WHEELS

I hope that when Andrew Shelley does his official report of the Women’s team champs in Denmark, he gives adequate praise all round for the way the Danes ran everything. But specially the press room, where for once they had a couple of techno experts and free broadband (ISDN) connections for the members of the press. If the press had any problems with computers, these two guys fixed it before they had finished explaining the problem. They were quite wonderful. And to top it all off, that fine gentleman Oluf Jorgenson, who ran the tournament, took Colin McQuillan and I out to dinner after the semi-finals (before the long drive home from Copenhagen to Odense.) When we thanked him for his hospitality he said “No, no, it is my pleasure. The press are my heroes.” I almost choked on my ox-tail. Here was an organiser who actually appreciated us. I just wish the clowns who run the PSA had been around to hear that. For the last three years they have been trying their best to keep us away.

So we piled back in the car and within five minutes we had to stop. We had a flat.

Just when I was looking forward to a nice snooze on the 90 minute drive, we had to pile out into the chill night air, unload the trunk of Olaf’s Volvo station wagon and work out the jack, jacking points..etc. We changed the wheel in 9.25 seconds flat. Alright so I’m lying. Within 15 minutes we were back on the road.

ST. ANDREW OF SOUTHGATE

I should report the following: At the gala dinner in Denmark, after all and sundry had been thanked for their efforts in making a successful event, Oluf then paid tribute to the technical director, WISPA chief Andrew Shelley, ‘without him, this tournament would never have taken place.’ The applause grew to a cheer and then a roar and then to a thunderous table thumping. It must have gone on for almost a minute and every person in the room joined in. Including me, and I don’t table-thump for anyone. The man is respected throughout the squash world and is held in great affection by all who know him. As far as I am concerned, put him charge of the WSF, PSA, the United Nations and the World Bank. He’d run them all superbly and still keep his mischievous sense of humour.

WHAT A DAY THIS HAS BEEN…..

It must have been a real roller coaster of day for Carol Owens. Through a quirk in the ranking system, the November rankings put her at number one, replacing Sarah Fitz-Gerald, who has been unbeaten for about two years. So now she’s all ready to play Sarah in the Qatar final for a showdown but along comes Natalie Pohrer in the semis and beats her. Now I know Carol quite well and I can tell you she would rather have remained at number two and beaten Sarah. In all her conversations Carol says she wants to beat Sarah to get to number one. And she would not like to get to number one because Sarah retires….she badly wants to beat her before retirement.

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Jobs well done: ... gracious Danes, table-thumping tribute to Shelley, and super baby

GLOBAL GALLERY November 2002 Martin Bronstein's astigmatic view of the world of squash

© 2002 All rights reserved. photos © 2002, Suashtalk, D. Tessier, Danish Squash, WISPA

Jobs well done:
... gracious Danes, table-thumping tribute to Shelley, and super baby

GLOBAL GALLERY November 2002
Martin Bronstein's astigmatic view of the world of squash

© 2002 All rights reserved.
photos © 2002, Suashtalk, D. Tessier, Danish Squash, WISPA