8/22/2006

Ten lessons learned by a rookie squash pro, or, “An extremely non-comprehensive list of what’s gone wrong so far”

1. Never fly from England to New Zealand to play tournaments and only give yourself one day to recover from jet lag.
2. Actually just never go to New Zealand period, it’s really far away
3. No matter how well you think you have mastered the technique just shown to you in a squash lesson, once the coach leaves you realize you have no idea what he just said.
4. Test the DVDs you buy in Pakistan to see if they work BEFORE you leave the country, because it’s hard to return defective DVDs to the street vendor outside the Islamabad Marriot. 
5. You can never have too many pairs of good squash shoes.
6. Despite rumors that it can be done, the first attempt to become a colonel can only end in disaster. 
7. Companies are not falling over themselves to sponsor squash professionals. 
8. No matter how good you become, there is always an Egyptian who is smaller, younger, and way better than you.
9. You cannot get out of El Salvador without having your passport, even if you’re really nice to the lady working at the ticketing counter of Mexican Air. 
10. You always wish you were fitter than you are.